Binks insisted on saying grace before dinner tonight. After thanking God for Phillip being alive, she thanked him for the awesome new car that Bittle got, because she loves it.
I am just thankful for my family. With whom all things are possible.
So Paula and Binks and Melissa are off to the shore for a week. When asked it I could go, Binks responded with, “No, Bittle. You go be funny somewhere else.”
So here I am.
It’s probably for the best anyway. I never really did well on vacation car rides. I blame Janet. What is it with mothers, that makes them pissed off, ten minutes into vacation.
“I will turn this car around!”
We believed her too. We were stupid kids. We didn’t know anything about non-refundable deposits or reservations. She was a scary bitch, and we were terrified. I remember looking at the younger kids and saying, “Shut up, she’ll do it!” Because none of us had any faith that my stepfather was going to stop her.
One year, we were going to Disney World on a plane. And she looked right at us and said, “I will tell the pilot to turn this plane around!”
Grown men in business suits turned around in their seats with fear in their eyes, and begged us to behave, because they believed her, and didn’t want to miss their connections in Atlanta.
When I was like 9, she decided to plan a fake vacation. We packed up the whole car, got everything ready, got on the road…
She let my stepfather drive for about a half hour before she threatened to “turn the car around”. And then she did. And we CRIED! For like, 5 hours straight, until we couldn’t cry anymore, and then we made that pathetic wimpering noise that you make as kids when you just can’t cry anymore. You know what I’m talking about. But from that day forward, we were scared to death of “I will turn this car around.”
So, have a good time Binks. Behave, don’t give mommy a hard time. Or I will send Grandma Janet down there, and she will turn your car around!
So, checking my oil before I leave Hilltown last night, and I set the cap on my rad support like a dumbass, and then watched helplessly as it slid down and fell behind my grille, rolled under my radiator, and disappeared out of sight.
And since my car has a solid encapsulation panel, there was no getting to it from underneath. Finally managed to hit the brakes so hard in the driveway that I got it to slide out from under the radiator, but still had no way to get to it. After thirty minutes, just being able to see it was a victory.
Binks decided she was going to help, and after failing with a wire hanger, I finally just decided to pop the rivets on my grille, and pull the damn thing off. Well, the best I could do was pry it open (it was metal riveted to the frame) and let Binks get her skinny arms in there until she got it.
And all this after we sat in my car with no AC for two and a half hours in traffic and drove in circles looking for a Wawa to get Paula a smoothie. It wasn’t bad though. We had a nice heart to heart on the ride. Talked about the drama in her life, and the drama in mine. It was nice to have that family feeling again, if only for a little while.
Gonna try to take her to see Carbon Leaf on Tuesday. I think she’ll like it. Or, I hope she’ll like it. Pics from the show to follow!
Bittle is the fish out of water.
So Binks got to go into school late today because there was a dusting on the ground. However, Paula woke her up normal time, and she didn’t find out there was a delay until after she had straightened her hair, so she just sat on her bed for two hours. It was really kinda sad.
I offered to make her breakfast, which she said she wanted. I then told her that I could make her eggs or french toast, to which she told me that she wasn’t really hungry after all.
As I was pulling out of the drive way, she came running out of the house to flag me down. Apparently Mommy forgot to sign her report card, and she asked me if I would do it for her. I felt so adult. After all the report cards I “unofficially” signed in my youth, I finally got to sign one “officially”.
I love you Binks.
Poor Binks. She and her friend needed a ride home tonight. Had she known that The Thong Song by Sisqo would come on, she might have walked. Daddy is so embarrassing.
Apparently it’s Chinese New Year. I’m the one white guy in a room packed with reveling Chinese people. Lemme get a Tsingtao.